Lemony Snicket's Will
by Apollo97
Summary: Lemony Snicket has died and left his will behind. He has revealing his secrets and lies in the will, knowing that he has escaped them. What does he have to reveal? Has he been honest in his previous chronicles? Read to find out!


Volume 15: Snicket's Will

_**The Will of Lemony Snicket:**_

Throughout my many grueling years, I have researched the pathetic lives of the Baudelaire children. I have explained their general entity; however, there are many events which I have not quite described.

In my volume beforehand, I have set forth the excuse that my research was as dignified as it could possibly be. I also said that some concepts are best kept confidential.

The truth is best kept a lie in this situation that which I betray. However, because this is my last will and testament, I will write the truth, as it unfortunately must be. So then, my tongue is henceforth cut.

V.F.D: Valid Fraud Dictatorship. I have lied in telling VFD was an innocent Volunteer Fire Department. It felt more true to lie at the time; this organization, originated by my siblings and the deceased adult Baudalaires, was an assembling with a dark plan, yet a brilliant cause. The word "Dictatorship" was only to confuse those with all of the Snicket Files. The last Snicket File was burned away with the VFD headquarters on the "Slippery Slope." The file was in the sugar bowl; however, it was taken out of it during the fire. The sugar bowl was then thrown out the window.

The sugar bowl drifted through the currents of the water, straight into the vault the cave the Baudalaires treaded through. It was hidden beyond the poison mushrooms (the fungi only curable by horseradish or wasabi.)

We cannot blame the Baudalaires for not discovering this; Sunny was contaminated. Even though they followed every instruction of Fiona, the mushroom expert, the evil of Count Olaf prevailed.

Also wandering back to VFD; I'm sure those who are readers of my unfortunately high-acclaimed novels were wondering why there was a secret passage from my dearest Beatrice (the mother of the Baudalaires and wife of . . . my one of many enemies) had a hidden passage to the apartment complex of the enticing, yet conniving Esme Squalor. As I wrote before, VFD did dark deeds, but for the perfect reasons. The former organization members stole from the wealthy, and gave that money to the unsettled. This way we felt we were balancing economic life.

Esme was a former member of the VFD at the time she adored Count Olaf; I have come to find this because I was a member myself. However, as I read in her letter to her false named brother, Bruce, her true intentions were to steal for herself and because more rich than ever before.

So, as you can imagine, other members of the VFD asked her to donate her legal tender. She refused. The members and I insister, but she already announced, a word which here means, "quit."

We devised a plan in which to thieve her of $30,000. Everyone agreed, so we slowly build an underground passage to reach her building, and then climb the vertical netting we placed. The front door would have been the leisurely route, but we were planning more than one robbery- this way we could never be suspected.

My dearest Beatrice was caught in our seventeenth robbery, so Esme made a pent to make her rue the day she tried to rob her of her possessions. Beatrice escaped on that note.

She died in a terrible fire the next day.

Count Olaf and Esme did not meet during the auction of the Very Fancy Dollies, as you may have suspected. They met at a slovenly bar, where his comrades and he always met. He used his greed for money to charm Esme, and that's all she needed in a man.

Esme pouted about her recent dilemma with my lovely Beatrice, and Count Olaf assured her he would make it all better. He led her to his watchtower (the same watchtower which Sunny had been trapped, and the same one Violet climbed) and showed her the contraption that he had invented: a glass eye the size of a globe. Then he showed her what it could do.

If you have ever seen my movie, Series of Unfortunate Events, with Jim Carrey, you must have knowledge of this device. Klaus used it to burn the marriage parliament so his sister would not have to be married to the villain.

Count Olaf aimed this horrid device at the Baudelaire Mansion. It burned: along with its books, rooms, toys, secrets, and people.

This is where the story of the Baudelaire orphans begins, though I had not the heart to tell it until the end.

In conclusion, I leave all my possessions to the Baudelaire Siblings; wherever they are.

Lemony Snicket

_**A note from his illustrator and great friend, Brett Hellquist:**_

There is another detail I fear my friend comrade Lemony Snicket has omit. The Baudelaire's friends and equivalence, the Quagmires, have not betrayed and left the Baudalaires. Fiona is in the inflatable mobile in the sky with her brother (usually referred to as the hook-handed man), too, and they are still in search of the Baudalaires. Lemony and I have received this information by mysterious notes from the sky. One day, I hope they will all find each other, and all would possibly be a happy ending for the Baudalaires.

If anyone has looked closely at my illustrations within The Series of Unfortunate Events, one would notice the mobile balloon in the sky on the ending illustration on the _Grim Grotto._ That mobile was to symbolize the Quagmires and Fiona desperately looking for the Baudelaire siblings.

May they find each other one day.

Brett Hellquist


End file.
